Movie Reviews


The Cell


Starring Jennifer Lopez, Vince Vaughn and Vincent D'onfrio.


Director: Tarsem Singh.  2000


This film is a visual orgy of creativity.  The costumes and scenery are engrossingly exotic and erotic.  Lopez is a social worker, turned psycho-pharmaceutical traveler.  With the help of special drugs, a fantastic rubber catsuit (that looks like a human body with the skin removed) whacked-out computer technology and bondage-type suspension (YAY!), she is able to transfer her psyche into the subconscious mind of her patients.  At the start of the film, Lopez is in the subconscious of a comatose young boy.  She wears a beautiful, white satin and feather gown, as this is how all nine year old boys see Jennifer Lopez.  She tries to bring the boy out of his coma, with her motherly tones and impeccable fashion sense.  The boy is only interested in orgasming, as evidenced by how much Lopez's costume resembles purity, virtue and a cum-sicle all at the same time.  Failing to attend to they boy's rampant hormones and sexual confusion (he's nine, remember), Lopez cannot bring the boy out of the coma.

Vincent D'Onfrio portrays a sexually deviant, psychotic, serial killer who was abused as a child and has a real love/hate relationship with water.  He is the caretaker of an old farm, that has an underground, water-tight, prison cell complete with bed, sink and toilet.  What?  D'Onfrio kidnaps young, attractive women (What?  Fat, ugly, old women need love too!), locks them in the water-tight cell, turns on the video cameras, and leaves.  In 36 hours, the cell fills completely with water and the woman drowns.  D'Onfrio bleaches the victim's body white, transforming her into a beautiful, porcelain doll.  D'Onfrio suspends himself over the dead body, by using body piercings in his back.  Thus suspended: he watches the video of the girl begging for her life, as she drowns, and masturbates as his porcelain doll looks up at him with cold, dead eyes.

I thought I went through a lot to achieve orgasm, but this guy has me beat!

D'Onfrio goes into a coma while: taking a bath, waiting for his next victim to drown, and being arrested by the FBI.  This guy is a real over-achiever!

Since Lopez is a cold, sexually repressed, frigid-sicle, the FBI figure she is the right person to enter the subconscious mind of a sexually deviant, psychotic, serial killer.  But it's OK, he's in a coma.  What could possibly go wrong?    The FBI (Vince Vaughn wearing a horrible diamond horseshoe ring), want to know where  D'Onfrio's current victim is imprisoned, before she drowns!  It's a race against the clock!

Once inside the mind of a comatose, sexually deviant, psychotic, serial killer, Lopez dumps her frigid ways and becomes a submissive, psychotic, sex toy, chained to a bed!  WOOHOO! 

Irreverent comments aside, the visual imagery of this film is stunning.  The scene of Lopez, as the collared beauty, chained to a bed, was my epiphany.  She is the progenitor of the Rubber Shemale Sex Slave.  The catsuit, covers her flesh, making her body smooth and perfect.  The design on the catsuit, creates art; indeed she IS Art.  The hard, shiny, rubber collar, enforces her duty, purpose and submission.  She speaks not one word during this scene; and makes not one sound.  Her silence is the perfect testament to her perfect beauty and perfect submission.  She is to be seen, touched, caressed and adored.  If she is to be heard at all, it should be moans of passion or cries of pain.  Words trap us and betrays us.  Words are over-valued.  One needs only to Simply Be and Be Simply.  That is what she represents to me. 

She is the royal consort - beautiful, poised, flawless, calm and graceful - at peace and at ease.  She is Enlightened: she is where she is supposed to be, when she is supposed to be, and how she is supposed to be.  It is the awareness and acceptance of this moment, that leads to her peace and calm.

Could this moment of truth exist without a King?  Could she be the royal consort without there being nobility to proclaim her as such?  Is there a Sleeping Beauty without a Prince?  No.  Submission is a shadow, cast by the Dominant.  The more clearly defined the Dominant is; and the stronger the light shone on the Dominant, then the stronger the shadow created.  But if there is only light, and no Dominant, then the shadow itself fades.

I think of creating my bedroom in the manner of Lopez's bedroom below.  But creating it, does not make me her, if there is no King to cast a shadow.

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